Every year I make New Year Resolutions. Every year they are gone by March. Kaput! I shoot too high and then kick myself when I fail to meet my own expectations. This year I’m going to do something different. I’m going to use the ability to look backward to help me move forward. I will look at each success I have had over the past year and tell myself, “I can do it again!”

• I published my second book, “Living in the Theater of the Absurd: Chronic Illness”. That means that I can achieve this task again. (I am working on book #3.)

• I have overcome a serious sprain which impaired my arm and hand. I have overcome a whopper respiratory infection that lasted 2½ months. I have absorbed the concept of yet another incurable chronic illness. Yet still I wrote. (I will write again, even if I have to work around health issues.)

• I have learned more about blogging – both the technical and the content I wish to share. I have learned a lot as a newer blogger. (I will continue my learning and blogging.)

• I have learned more about twitter and met some wonderful people. (I will continue to do so.)

• 85% of my book reviews on Amazon have been marked as “helpful”. I am so pleased about that because I take my time to write the most helpful, accurate reviews possible. This has also given me the opportunity to be supportive of other authors. They have been such a support for me, and I am grateful for their encouragement and feedback. (I am still writing reviews.)

• I have survived a top to bottom house repair/renovation. I began unpacking clutter and simplifying our “stuff”. (I will continue to simplify my home.)

• I have learned how to deal with anxious dogs in the morning while taking my own medications. I used to get stressed over this, and my whole day would reflect that crazy time. (I will continue to learn how to control stress so I can concentrate when I write.)

Sometimes we need to stop and look at our successes, celebrating them rather than just moving on to the next goal. Every year adds something precious to our life. I choose to treasure these moments as I move onto 2013. I resolve not to set any resolutions but to see where life takes me!

What do you think of this approach?

Hugs,

Susan

In addition to scaring my two small dogs with my deep, juicy coughs, I have been putting up our Christmas decorations. This got me to thinking about traditions. Traditions are important. They allow us to pass on our culture to the next generation. They bind us together through a common experience.  This is true whether you celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, or Midwinter Festival.

I am surprised at how important our family traditions have become to our young adults. They act as if they are too cool for the room, know more than their parents – well, they’re typical young adults, after all! They are very specific about which decorations they want to see around the home, what time we will go to church, which cookies they hope I will bake.

So what can I add to our traditions as a sneezing, wheezing, author/poet mama with limited stamina? Of course I will bake their favorite cookies. However there is one tradition that comes through me as a personal gift. Each year I write a story or poem especially for one family member. It is from the heart, and something they can hold onto throughout the year. Because it is personal, I do not read it to the whole family. I give it to that family member directly for them to read in private.

To all authors/poets, take time to write something just for your family. To all who have chronic illness, write something that you would like to say (loving and appreciative) to your family. To those who are neither, even taking the time to write a special letter to someone in your family is a treasure.

I challenge all of you dear friends to add something written to your traditions.

Meanwhile I have a tree to decorate….

What are your favorite traditions? I would love to hear about them!

5.0 out of 5 stars RX For Coping: LIVING IN THE THEATER OF THE ABSURD November 12, 2012

By Jay Squires

Format:Kindle Edition

I guarantee that at some point in your reading of LIVING IN THE THEATER OF THE ABSURD you’re going to observe that this has to be fiction. The author could not be suffering any one of her major chronic illnesses with her sanity–or even her very life–intact!

And, that’s for any ONE of her major illnesses. Taking all her illnesses as a whole, this book might even easily lack FICTIONAL credibility.

Yet, I’ve known Susan McIntyre for years and I can assure you that every last word of her book is true! Sue has not only endured these trials, not only survived what would have flat-out buckled me–and I daresay most of the readers of this review–but she came out “the other side” with a heart-melting grin on her face, and a thoroughly researched and tested strategy of coping mechanisms between the covers of this delightful book. She refused to give up! She refused to lie down before these steamrolling life-crushers!

Susan McIntyre enumerates–dissects, pets, prods and pampers–seventeen “monsters” residing in her theater of the absurd. Among them are Cancer (with its treatment and aftermath) and her ongoing battle with Fibromyalgia; then there’s Asthma, multiple allergies, Osteoporosis, a Spinal Injury and Migraines; add to those, the–of itself–easily debilitating “Itis” family: Arthritis, Bursitis and Tendonitis! Any one one of these would be enough to wipe the smile off the Mona Lisa, but not off Susan McIntire!
I’m picturing her, at the moment of one of her diagnoses, taking a deep breath, avowing that she and her faith were stronger than these monsters and then setting out, patiently but deliberately developing a plan of action. This book, LIVING IN THE THEATER OF THE ABSURD is the embodiment of that plan.

To the tens-of-thousands for whom pain and frustration is a constant reality … why should you let another moment pass before you get your hands on the book that could very well be your deliverance? Have you a loved one or dear friend who suffers under physical and mental anguish such as those Susan McIntire’s book delineates? Imagine what LIVING IN THE THEATER OF THE ABSURD could mean to his/her life.

Even we–you and I, with our occasional toothaches, strained backs, influenzas and the like–should read her entertainingly written book, though only, perhaps, to shake our heads in wonderment after we’ve finished, even secretly dab our eyes and effectively count our blessings.
I for one, however, choose to keep my copy on the library shelf, for life offers no promises of continued good health! If the future just happens to deliver me a knockdown blow, I want her encyclopedia of “how-tos” and “what-fors” at my elbow.

In Living in the Theater of the Absurd: Chronic Illness, there are several absurd sets of characters. While they probably reveal a bit of twisted humor on my part, they serve a specific purpose. The concepts behind them could have been written in a dull, serious manner, but I have read enough books on chronic illness that are as dry as the Mojave Desert. Though informative, they are also depressing rather than presenting an attitude of victorious living. I decided to do something different: reveal through example how I use my twisted humor to cope with the lifestyle of chronic illness.  There is a great deal of stress in dealing with chronic illness. Fortunately, laughter is a wonderful stress relief.

THE VORTEX:

It not only eats socks from the dryer, it also gobbles whatever I put on a table or countertop. Later on, I look for things, only to find them missing. The Vortex is an analogy to the memory challenges created by chronic illness. A portion of our brain is busy dealing with pain, consciously careful movement, or other coping with body signals. Studies have shown that pain impairs memory because our brain is processing so much at one time. Sadly, many people with chronic illness do not realize this. They blame themselves. They put themselves down. They feel stupid. I know these feelings first-hand. When I have neural pain in my spine, I may try to do my daily tasks yet find myself hindered by the fact that I can’t even remember where I put the cordless phone! One thing after another is misplaced, and frustration builds up. This is the time to realize that it is not that we are stupid, but that our brains are extra-busy. I created the Vortex as a shorthand communication with my family. When I tell them the Vortex ate my pen, they know that I am coping with more than typical forgetfulness. They understand that I need a bit of help because my body is in pain and I can’t remember simple tasks. The Vortex is a way of externalizing the dynamic rather than falling into self-blame.

MONSTERS:

Monsters represent the chronic illness or condition. Many books on chronic illness focus on acceptance of the condition. While acceptance is an important factor, so is fighting back. Instead of being overwhelmed by medical conditions and falling into self-pity, I decided to go into battle. This involves knowing as much as possible about  the condition. From there, we progress to what we can or can’t do about it. There are many responses that can at least make our daily lives more comfortable. Knowledge, determination, and hope are key factors in living a victorious life. For me, faith is an additional factor. We learn what we can do to ease our days, but then we must do these coping strategies. I use the analogy of putting monsters in their cages. By using coping strategies, we gain a bit of control over the degree to which chronic illness dominates our days. When we reach a stage where the chronic illness is present but we also live, love and laugh, then our monsters have been put in their cages. They no longer scare us into a corner.

GREMLINS:

I use this concept for the negative thoughts that come with self-pity, discouragement, critical comments made by others, and so forth. I chose to use gremlins because they are of darkness rather than of light. We also think of gremlins as being smaller than monsters, and thus I created an imaginary giant fly swatter to squash them or chase them away. There are plenty of negative thoughts or comments that come our way, and they do not help our health. If we let negativity rule, it will leave us isolated and bitter. Having an imaginary fly swatter and the concept that negative thoughts (gremlins) can be resisted is a way of creating awareness that our thought life is part of increasing health or illness.  While chronic illness is biological, it can be made worse through negativity. I choose to laugh, love, and find what is good in life. I hate to take all the medicines that are prescribed. Gremlins often attack at my dose times. I get out my giant fly swatter and shoo them away. Instead of being resentful, I become grateful that I have medicines that can make my life easier. If I lived a hundred years ago, many of these medicines would not have been available.

I am grateful to my doctors for their wisdom, diagnoses and carefully chosen prescriptions. When my doctors decide to come home and empty my dishwasher, clean my house, keep track of my things, and do my laundry, then I will not need a book such as Living in the Theater of the Absurd: Chronic Illness.

The diagnosis and prescription are only the beginning. How we live beyond them is up to us. Our character, relationships, thought-life, and daily tasks present challenges that go beyond the average life. However, there are also gifts. We learn to laugh at absurdity. We learn to hold onto that which is important. We treasure life. I am repeatedly impressed with the fullness of spirit in those I have met who deal with chronic illness. When they cry, they mean it. There are times when tears are appropriate. But when they smile, it is as genuine and real as a brilliant ray of sunshine. They have fought the battles, and smile because life can hold goodness  regardless of  circumstances. However, never discount the effort it has taken to reach the point of smiling.

Inside this book is an imaginative approach to avoiding the victim mentality that often accompanies chronic illness. I begin with an outrageous use of humor, a necessity if one is to cope with all that comes. A doctor may diagnose and prescribe, but they are not the one who empties the dishwasher! I am in favor of medical supervision. I am grateful to my many doctors. I would not be alive today without them.
However, it was me who had to decide how to view life, how to solve daily problems, and how to find a bit of laughter along the way. Rather than leave others to discover this lifestyle by themselves, I have written this book to help with problem solving while relieving constant stress with humor. My style is humorous, but my message is serious.

The general principles are covered in the following chapters:

Prologue: A Different View
1. The Vortex
2. The Monsters Under the Bed
3. Collect the Whole Set
4. The Monsters Take Over
5. The Monsters Keep Coming!

I then use eleven of my many chronic illnesses to show how I use this technique. Although I have even more chronic illnesses, I have tried to choose the most common ones. Even if you don’t have these particular conditions, I recommend reading them for ideas which you may be able to use at home.

6. Studying Your Monsters: Allergy, Asthma, Chemicals
7. Studying Your Monsters: Cancer
8. Studying Your Monsters: Fibromyalgia
9. Studying Your Monsters: The “Itis” Brothers
10. Studying Your Monsters: Osteoporosis
11. Studying Your Monsters: Spinal Injury
12. Studying Your Monsters: Migraines

I move on to application of this lifestyle by addressing how to make daily tasks easier:

13. How to Train Your Monsters
14. It’s All about Accessories: The Fashionable Attire
15. Household Chores: Cleanliness
16. Household Chores: Clutter
17. Errands

From here, I go on to relationships – with others and with yourself.

18. Family Relationships
19. Making and Keeping Friends
20. Avoiding and Coping with Flares
21. Protecting Your Thought Life
22. Protecting Your Spiritual and Emotional Life
23. Living Well Beyond Illness

Epilogue: A Note of Encouragement
Appendix A: Quick Guide to Chapter Lessons
Appendix B: Questions to Consider
Appendix C: Contact Information

I tripped over something today -

Nearly fell flat on my face.

It wasn’t there yesterday,

Yet there it sat, quietly

Looking at me with hope in its eyes.

I examined it carefully,

Apprehension made me cautious.

A fearful whimper escaped

As it waited, quivering,

At my approach.

It lay cold and fading

In the darkness of abandonment.

Old dreams had perished

Leaving no one to care for

This tiny little spark of life.

Instinct took over as I gently

Wrapped it in a blanket.

It gazed curiously in my arms and

As it snuggled for warmth,

This lonely orphan dream began to move.

Quietly the dream crept into my heart

As if it knew it was home.

It curled up peacefully, knowing

I would protect and

Nurture it back to health.

The dream began to glow with light,

Growing in ways never known before.

It led the way to places

Neither of us expected,

Bring hope and joy to us both.

By Susan H. McIntyre, 2011

When it seems as if all your hopes and dreams have been dashed, I hope you will remember this poem. Look for the dream that waits for you to adopt it.

This has been a challenging year! So far I have had an injury that caused a temporary loss of my right arm, two respiratory illnesses, a major home repair/renovation, and a family member who was ill. During summer smog, I had to stay indoors as well, making it hard to travel around town for writing ideas. I am fascinated with people and was unable to indulge in people watching. (No, I do not stalk!)  I found that in addition to prioritizing my life, my writing adjusted to the situation.

• Time: I wrote in smaller amounts of time so that I could deal with other demands.  This was an important lesson. I love to write. I can become so involved that the world around me fades away as I put my ideas on computer.  Through being housebound, I learned how to balance my life.

• Style: When I could not write on the computer, I kept a notepad handy to jot down ideas to follow up on later. As I kept that lil’ notepad nearby, I would jot down ideas. When I had 5-10 minutes, I would write another paragraph.

• Sources of Inspiration: I used my imagination, memories, observed nature and people from my window, and insights from the situations at hand.  This led to additional points for my second book, plus a start on my next poetry collection.

The result was phenomenal. I finished my second book! Living in the Theater of the Absurd: Chronic illness is now published and in the process of being listed online. It is available in all forms at Barnes & Noble now, and Amazon is in the process of listing it. Back in February, I was not sure if this would ever happen.

By adjusting the way I went about writing, I was able to achieve what I once thought was impossible. Some things I am still working on, such as learning to blog on a more regular basis. I will share my life as a plain-talk poet who limps with various chronic illnesses. Perhaps there will be a nugget of encouragement or inspiration that helps you along the way. I certainly hope that will be the case!

Is there something you would like to do, yet the demands on your life make it seem unreachable? Look to see if there is a way to break down larger tasks. Maybe there is a different way you could go about doing it. Looking at your life and the inspirations that come may provide unexpected material for your writing. At the very least, it can inspire you to hold onto your dream…

Hugs to all,

Susan

A Must Have Book
Orphan Dreams is a wonderful book filled with heart-warming poems. Each poem engages the reader and touches their deepest emotions. The author does an excellent job expressing these emotions making each section interesting. I found Orphan Dreams to be entertaining the whole way through. You really must give this book a read. You won’t be disappointed.
- Simon_Thelikeable

I have learned an interesting lesson: when not to write. Most people would say to persevere regardless of circumstances. I have read articles that recommend writing every day. I am going to say something a bit controversial here: there are times when life situations are more important than writing.

In the past few months, this Plain-Talk Poet has acquired another serious chronic illness, one that will be terminal. It is more important to learn about COPD now. With knowledge, I can at least slow down the process. Yes, I am an ex-smoker. However, I also experienced three toxic exposures .  I also have lived in prime smog country for thirty years – including when the smog was worse than today. Lung damage came from multiple causes. I must still deal with the smog, and am often housebound due to air I can’t breathe. This is a time to hold off from professional writing and do what you need to learn or adjust to the situation.

My husband has also gone through shingles in his eye, lost part of his vision, and had glaucoma surgery on that eye. Anyone who has ever had chicken pox can have shingles late in life. It was even worse for him because the shingles occurred in the eye with the worst glaucoma. He has lost part of his peripheral vision due to damage to the optic nerve as well as the glaucoma flare.  The pain from shingles can be unbearable. When someone you love is in severe pain, it is not the time to write. It is time to take care of them constantly and lovingly

The questions I had to ask were:

•  Which is more important: writing or breathing?
• Which is more important: writing or loving my husband?

The answers are obvious. Without breathing, I can’t write. Without my husband of 35 years, I am decimated and can’t write. This is why I have not posted much lately. I could hide all this, but there is an important lesson for writers within this experience.

Anyone can find that their life has accelerated beyond their control. For a writer, this is a particularly difficult time, as writing is what we do. Here are some suggestions for letting out the urge to write during other demands:

• Write a journal of everything you learn
• Write a separate journal of the emotional journey
• Carry a small notebook and jot notes for future writings
• Write a “bug list” of everything that bothers you or worries you
• Keep “to-do” lists of everything that you must do to get through the situation

Set the book you’re writing aside for a bit. Let the blog wait. Twitter will still be there, and Facebook, too.

All writers naturally keep a pen or pencil handy along with paper. We need to write. It is like oxygen for our soul. It is part of who we are. However, we need not always push ourselves to write professionally  during extreme life situations. There are many other things we need to write – it’s how we think, how we cope, how we remember what we’ve learned or what we need to do. We don’t stop writing. We just write for a different purpose..